Men’s Health Week is an international event that covers the week leading up to Father’s Day (June 12-18, 2023). It focuses on creating health policies that meet the needs of boys, men, and their families.
On a smaller scale, communities and families can develop healthy habits that nurture men and help them live their best lives. Men’s Health Week is a perfect time to encourage your dad’s healing in addiction recovery. Here are 10 ways you can support him:
1. Learn About Addiction & Recovery
It’s hard to support an addicted father if you don’t know what they’re going through. Learning how addiction works can give you understanding so you can be less judgmental.
Learning about recovery may give you more patience with the process. It could also equip you with tools to help your father grow as a person and develop healthy habits that prevent relapse.
2. Be Supportive
Tell your dad you’re there for him. Don’t assume he knows—it will mean a lot to him to hear you say it. He may feel like he’s a burden or ashamed of his addiction. He might be afraid to ask for support. If he does ask, be there when he needs you.
Being supportive also means doing things that encourage his recovery and avoiding things that don’t. Don’t criticize the recovery process or his progress. Do look for ways to help him live healthier without drugs or alcohol.
3. Listen
If your father is in an addiction treatment program, he’s probably getting regular counseling from a professional. He may not need your advice, but he does need you to listen to him.
When you listen to someone, they feel valuable. That will boost your dad’s self-esteem, and loving yourself is one of the most important things in recovery.
It’s also good for his mental health to have a loved one who’s willing to listen when he needs to talk.
4. Have Fun Together
A parent’s addiction can cause strained relationships between family members. Recovery includes rebuilding relationships with loved ones.
It won’t do your dad a lot of good to be reminded of the pain his addiction has caused. But making new, happy memories can show him that he can live a good life without drugs or alcohol.
When you get together with your father, try to be positive and do something fun. Recovery shouldn’t be all serious. A fun sober activity can ease some of his struggles and create a stronger bond between you and your dad. Fun is also good for everyone’s well-being.
5. Set Boundaries
Part of supporting your father in recovery is strengthening the connection between you, but you also have to set boundaries to have a healthy relationship with him.
Don’t make it easy for him to continue bad habits that may trigger drug use. Enabling won’t help him recover.
Some people become emotionally and psychologically dependent on their loved ones during addiction recovery. This is called codependence. It’s a mental health disorder and too much for you to bear. In recovery, your father needs to learn to depend on himself. Let him.
In Al-Anon, a support group for families of addicted individuals, they say, “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.” Your dad needs your support, but he is the one who’s addicted and he is the one who has to do the work to heal.
6. Live A Healthy Life
Recovering from alcohol or drug addiction requires that you make healthy choices. Nurturing your body and mind makes it easier to resist relapse. You can set a positive example for your dad by living a healthy life yourself.
If you live together—or even if you don’t—you can share healthy meals, go for walks together, do yoga, or simply model positive thinking and coping skills when you’re around him.
7. Avoid Family Drama
Family drama is a source of stress that can trigger substance use. It can also make it hard to support your father in addiction recovery. When possible, avoid escalating conflict. If there is a problem (all families have problems from time to time), try dealing with it positively.
Here are a few things that might help avoid family drama:
- Don’t nitpick or seek fault
- Try to keep the peace
- Talk it out if there’s a problem
- Be honest, but kind
- Be willing to listen
- Try to see things from the other person’s perspective
- Be slow to anger
- Be willing to forgive
De-escalating family drama takes away unnecessary stress. It helps family members practice being united instead of divided. A united family is a strong support system, which is what your dad needs in addiction recovery.
8. Don’t Ignore The Problem
While you don’t want to cause drama, you can’t walk on eggshells either. If something your dad did or said is bothering you, hiding it is likely to strain your relationship and may lead to you exploding in anger.
Along the same lines, pretending your father’s substance use disorder isn’t real can be harmful to his recovery. You don’t want it to be the only thing you talk about, but the first step to healing is recognizing the problem. That goes for friends and family members as well as for the addicted parent.
Affirming that your dad struggles with drug or alcohol addiction and standing by him anyway will mean a lot to him.
9. Let Go Of Anger
Your father may have hurt you in the past because of his alcohol or drug abuse. That’s something he has to come to terms with and ask forgiveness for. If you want to support his recovery, let go of your anger.
Addiction recovery is about becoming a stronger person and living a better life. If you hold on to anger over the past, you won’t be able to embrace the person your dad is trying to become. And you may even set back his recovery by blaming or shaming him, which can cause relapse.
10. Encourage Him If He Relapses
While relapse may feel like a failure, it’s an essential part of recovery for many people. Substance abuse after committing to sobriety can be eye-opening.
Once you’re sober, you might not remember the past accurately. Your dad might think back to his drug- or alcohol-abuse days and see fun times that weren’t so bad. He may feel like the recovery process is too slow or difficult and drugs or alcohol could bring relief.
But often when someone uses drugs or alcohol again, they feel worse than ever. Their body isn’t used to it, they’re letting themselves down, and it just doesn’t feel worth it. That’s when they really know there’s no going back to addiction.
If your dad relapses or shows signs (like isolating, missing support group meetings, or spending time with people who use drugs), don’t be discouraged. Instead, encourage him that many people have the same experience and go on to lifelong recovery.
An addiction treatment program can help your dad develop the tools he needs to resist relapse. If he’s not in alcohol or drug rehab, that may be the next step.
At Northeast Addictions Treatment Center, we provide several levels of outpatient care. Our evidence-based treatment options include family therapy, which helps heal the whole family. Contact us today to learn more.
Sources
2023 International Men’s Health Week — Healthy Habits
Men’s Health Month — International Men’s Health Week
