Your addiction can take a serious toll on your family members, especially your spouse. By seeking addiction treatment, you make your partner’s life much easier. Even so, you might hesitate to tell them about your treatment plans, especially if they don’t know about your substance abuse. When you explain your decision to enter treatment, your spouse may experience a variety of emotions, including shock, anger, and fear. In addition, if you previously hid or downplayed your drug use, your spouse may feel a deep sense of betrayal. Make space for these strong emotions by having the discussion in a calm, quiet environment. Additionally, follow these tips to help the conversation run smoothly.
Set Aside A Few Hours To Talk
You should also set aside at least a few hours for the conversation. You’ll need plenty of time to explain your situation. Before starting the discussion, educate yourself on the disease of addiction, including causes, symptoms, and treatment options. You can then share this information with your spouse to help ease their feelings of confusion or uncertainty.
Tell Your Spouse Why You Started Misusing Drugs
In addition, although it might cause discomfort, you should tell your spouse why you started misusing drugs in the first place. You may have multiple reasons, such as stress, underlying mental health disorders, peer pressure, or curiosity. No matter the reasons, it’s important to be completely honest with your spouse. As mentioned above, your confession that you need rehab may leave your spouse feeling betrayed. Honesty will help you rebuild the trust you damaged by hiding or minimizing your drug abuse.
Explain Your Treatment Plan
If you have already chosen a drug addiction treatment facility, tell your spouse all about it. Discuss whether you have chosen inpatient or outpatient treatment, how long treatment will last, and what specific treatments you plan to receive. If you have not yet made these decisions, your spouse may want to help you with them.
Discuss Dual Diagnosis Care
If you have a co-occurring mental health disorder, discuss whether the treatment facility offers dual diagnosis treatment. This type of treatment addresses addiction that occurs alongside other mental health concerns. If you only treat your addiction, you face a much higher risk of relapse. Thus, seeking dual diagnosis treatment will give your spouse more hope in your recovery.
Discuss Payment
You should also discuss how you plan to pay for treatment. If you have health insurance, check if your policy covers addiction treatment before talking to your spouse. The more information you have, the more you can ease your spouse’s mind.
Apologize
Finally, apologize for all the ways your substance misuse has harmed your spouse. Emphasize your commitment to staying sober, and ask for your spouse’s support on your addiction recovery journey. Throughout the discussion, let your spouse express their feelings. Also, after you explain your need for treatment, make sure you answer all of your spouse’s questions and concerns. In some cases, your spouse might need time to process your confession before they respond. Honor their desire for space with patience, understanding, and compassion.
How To Support Your Spouse As You Get Treatment
While you need your spouse’s support, your spouse also needs yours. When they feel ready to discuss your treatment plans, explain specific ways your partner can cope as you recover. The most common coping strategies for people with addicted spouses include:
Therapy
A mental health professional can help your partner manage the difficult feelings that may arise during your recovery. It’s important that your spouse has a place to express their emotions without worrying about your reaction. The therapist can also help your spouse avoid or recover from codependency. Codependency is a type of relationship dynamic in which someone centers their whole life on caring for a loved one, often to the point of neglecting their own needs. You and your spouse may also benefit from couples therapy. A couples therapist can help you manage conflicts and rebuild a healthy, trusting relationship. Many rehab programs offer couples therapy in their treatment plans.
Support Groups
As you recover from addiction, your spouse will need a strong support system. Luckily, there are many support groups designed specifically for people with addicted loved ones. The most popular groups are Al-Anon, which focuses on alcohol addiction, and Nar-Anon, which focuses on other types of addiction. In these groups, your spouse can discuss their experiences with other people navigating a loved one’s addiction. In addition, if your spouse struggles with codependency, they may benefit from the support group Codependents Anonymous (CODA).
Self-Care
It takes a significant amount of strength to support an addicted partner. That’s why you should encourage your spouse to practice self-care. In particular, they should:
- get at least seven hours of sleep per night
- eat nutritious foods and stay hydrated
- stay physically active
- make time for activities that boost their sense of well-being, such as journaling, meditating, and spending time with supportive loved ones
- express their emotions through creative hobbies, such as painting, writing, or gardening
These behaviors will help your spouse stay healthy as they support you through the ups and downs of recovery. To learn more about substance abuse treatment, please reach out to Northeast Addictions Treatment Center. Our board-certified healthcare providers offer personalized, evidence-based treatment options to help you or your loved one thrive.
Keep Reading:
- How To Care For Your Children While You’re In Rehab
- How To Balance Work & Addiction Recovery
- Find Family Support Groups
- Rebuilding Your Life And Finding Purpose After Addiction
Sources:
Addiction Science and Clinical Practice — Behavioral Couples Therapy for Substance Abuse: Rationale, Methods, and Findings
National Institute on Drug Abuse — Understanding Drug Use and Addiction DrugFacts
New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports — Understanding & Supporting a Loved One’s Recovery