Many people who battle substance abuse lie, steal, or engage in other behaviors that seriously harm their family members and friends. If you or someone you love has struggled with these behaviors, it’s possible to rebuild healthy relationships. Here’s how.
How To Repair Relationships Damaged By Your Own Drug Abuse
To resolve relationship issues caused by your own drug use, you must first seek help for your behavior. Most people who regularly misuse drugs develop substance use disorder (also called addiction). Like other diseases, addiction requires professional treatment.
Once you start your addiction recovery journey, you can repair your relationships by taking these steps:
Make Amends
Popularized by the 12-step program Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), making amends means acknowledging the damage your drug use has caused. Along with apologizing for that damage, you must take action to fix it.
For example, if you stole money from your significant other to buy drugs, you could make amends by apologizing for stealing and then giving your partner the same amount of money you stole.
You must then promise to change your behavior. You can demonstrate your commitment to change by following your addiction treatment plan. Most treatment plans include strategies such as:
- individual and group therapy
- support groups
- medication-assisted treatment (MAT)
- wellness activities, such as journaling, exercising, and meditating
Be Patient
When recovering from addiction, you might wish your relationships could return to normal right away. However, your loved ones will likely need time and space to forgive you. Respect their boundaries.
By offering patience, you highlight your commitment to a healthy, compassionate, drug-free life. When your loved ones see these changes, they will find it easier to trust you again.
Keep in mind that some people might never forgive you or welcome you back into their lives. It’s normal to feel upset in this situation.
Still, you must continue to respect your loved ones’ boundaries. Your therapist can help you explore your feelings, learn from your mistakes, and maintain stronger relationships in the future.
Recommend Family Therapy
Even if your loved ones accept your apologies, they may struggle with anger, trust issues, or even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result of your substance misuse.
You can help them resolve these issues by suggesting family therapy. This type of therapy is offered by many inpatient and outpatient addiction treatment programs.
In family therapy, a mental health professional will help you and your loved ones explore your feelings as you navigate recovery. The therapist can also help your loved ones manage any mental health concerns they have developed due to your addiction.
How To Repair Relationships Damaged By Your Loved One’s Drug Abuse
To rebuild a relationship damaged by your loved one’s drug use, take these steps:
Process Your Emotions
When someone you love battles addiction, you may experience a variety of difficult feelings, such as:
- fear
- anger
- sadness
- helplessness
- numbness
Once your loved one seeks treatment, you might expect these feelings to disappear. However, it often takes time to regain a sense of calm, especially when your loved one is new to recovery.
In the meantime, let yourself feel your feelings. If you try to push them away, they may grow stronger and prevent you from rebuilding trust with your recovering loved one.
Some of the best ways to process your feelings include attending therapy, journaling, and making art. You can also help your brain process difficult emotions by practicing self-care. In particular, get plenty of sleep, eat nutritious foods, and stay active.
Set Boundaries
Addiction is a disease, not a character flaw. That means that in general, people in recovery will not display the same harmful behaviors they displayed in active addiction. Even so, it’s important to set boundaries.
For instance, you might set the boundary that you will no longer allow your loved one to live in your home if they take actions that increase their risk of relapse, such as visiting bars, hanging out with old drinking buddies, or neglecting their aftercare plan.
Such boundaries help you avoid codependency. Codependency is an unhealthy relationship dynamic in which you ignore your own needs and enable a loved one’s harmful behavior.
Visit Support Groups
It’s not easy to rebuild a relationship with someone in recovery, especially if their behavior left you feeling abandoned or betrayed. Throughout the process, lean on your own support system.
While family and friends can help, they might not fully understand your struggles. Luckily, there are a number of support groups for people dealing with a loved one’s substance misuse, including:
- Al-Anon
- Nar-Anon
- Families Anonymous
- SMART Recovery Family & Friends
In these groups, you can vent your frustrations and get advice from people who have successfully repaired their relationships with loved ones in recovery. Most of them hold meetings both in-person and online.
If you or someone you love struggles with drugs, please reach out to Northeast Addictions Treatment Center. Our board-certified healthcare providers offer a variety of treatment options to help you or your loved one thrive, including behavioral therapy, medication-assisted treatment (MAT), and aftercare planning.
People Also Read:
- 7 Reasons Why Alcohol Ruins Your Relationships
- 6 Things To Do On Your First Valentine’s Day In Recovery
- The Link Between Codependency & Addiction
- Can You Date In Rehab? | Relationships In Early Recovery
- The Impact of Parental Substance Abuse On Children
- Rebuilding Your Life and Finding Purpose After Addiction
- Dating In Early Recovery
- Codependency Vs. Interdependency
Sources:
- United States Department of Veterans Affairs — Reducing Relapse Risk
- United States National Library of Medicine — Chapter 3—Family Counseling Approaches
- United States National Library of Medicine — Drug Use and Addiction